Oh My! Can the Crone Boldly Go?

‘Oh my!’ sighed Tilly Simms as she slowly pushed open the rickety wooden door to Monsignor Suárez Vampyre Slayer’s Emporium in the All Hallows Hamlet…

Oh my!’ sighed Tilly again for her heart was beating so fast and as she glanced at what lay beyond the entrance way into the shadowy gloom; she was almost tempted to close the door and run away as fast as she could.

But then she thought of Murphy with his ‘strange’ behaviour and the mask he had taken to wearing as he had prowled along the leafy pathways during the festival of Día de los Muertos and of her fear that something or someone had taken control of him.

‘Oh my!’ sighed Tilly!

And once inside the emporium, Tilly’s heart started beating even faster and when she spotted the werewolf head with those sharp teeth and wild eyes on the wall – she nearly jumped out of her skin!

‘Oh my!’ thought Tilly!

For even though darkness had not yet come upon the All Hallows Hamlet, Tilly was struggling to see inside the emporium for the shadows were so long and the only relief was the flickering of the candle on the old oak beam above.

And as her eyes grew used to the dim light -Tilly gazed with fascination at the vast array of glass bottles all around her with some perched on top of the tables, or balanced precariously upon the shelves and there were others all neatly nestled in the packing crates which had been left scattered all over the floor…

It was only when Tilly saw the vials of ‘Poppy Seeds’ and ‘Holy Oil’ arranged neatly on the old dresser and covered in dust and cobwebs – did she realise that visitors to this place were perhaps few and far between.

But having noticed some parchments on the reading stand in front of the warm fire and being the curious sort, Tilly moved across the room to take a closer look.

Tilly could see that these parchments had been written a long time ago in a language that she didn’t quite understand and the temptation to move some of them aside to take a closer look was too much but when she saw that the sketches were of something being hunted down and killed in a most gruesome way – she shuddered at the horror of it all.

‘Oh my!’ Tilly sighed and she began to wonder just what kind of person the Monsignor was – if this is what he liked to read!

However, this didn’t stop Tilly taking an even closer look at the sketches and just as she was trying to make sense of one of the illustrations, she found herself distracted by the powerful smell of garlic.

Turning her nose up in disgust as she wasn’t a fan of any kind of garlic, even for spell making – Tilly thought about that time when Polly Fawlty the eccentric owner of the ‘Hag & Hex Restaurant’ decided to indulge in some more experimental cuisine and peppered Tilly’s favourite chocolate cake with the stuff AND which nearly resulted in the deaths of several of the old folk from the All Hallows Hamlet!

And as Tilly looked at a wooden board scattered with dried herbs and pieces of freshly chopped garlic – she was even more curious as there was no one here!

Taking a look around the rest of the huge counter, Tilly spotted a silver bell nestled between the vials of ‘Holy Water’ and a bowl of red ribbons and wondered whether to ring it or not?

But with the emporium seemingly deserted and with no sign of the Monsignor – Tilly decided against it and making her way to the open door, she glanced at the bowls and vials containing an assortment of exotic herbs and oils and wondered if she should just help herself to a pinch of something.

BUT before Tilly could get to the open door, SUDDENLY there was a LOUD creaking sound followed by the sound of a huge THUD!

‘Oh MY!’ screeched Tilly!


‘Vampyres and Werewolves? Oh My!’

A Crooked Hen Production